Have you ever tried to get a coworker, friend, loved one or maybe just a casual acquaintance to change behavior? Or, heaven forbid, a teenager? Think about what's involved in the process.
- You clearly see the need for someone to change their behavior
- You think about a rationale way to explain this
- You have a conversation with the person about what needs to change and the very good reasons why this need to happens
- You're met with:
- Dumbfounded lack of understanding
- An emotional outburst
- Silence
- Anger
- And, in general, we'll see who wins this battle.
You're surprised by this reaction. You clearly understand why this change needs to happen. You laid out very good reasons why change should happen. Why can't "they" understand? And now, you're angry.
Is there a different way to approach this? I recently read a book called "Switch," by Chip and Dan Heath. I always believe that if I can skim through a book and gain one nugget that makes me a better manager and leader, then it was well worth it. In this case, the nugget "Switch" reinforced for me was that in dealing with change, we need to make sure we deal with both the emotional and rationale reasons. And we probably need to spend more time with the emotional reasons.
Think about a change scenario in your organizations. How much time did you spend tending to the emotional needs of the person you are asking to change? After all, change is emotional. Using the 80/20 rule, I bet you spent 80% of your change time creating directions for change and laying out the path. Actually, it's probably 90%. Then, after the change was introduced and rejected, you spent 90% of your time dealing with emotional backlash and the resulting drop in productivity. What if you spent 90% of your time up front preparing for the emotional side of change? Feels better, doesn't it?
In a future blog I'll get into some more details on the emotional side. For now, I'll simply ask how much more effective could your change initiatives be if you were better prepared for the emotional reaction to change?